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☕ How Big of a Coffee Freak Are You?

How do you take it?

HOW BIG OF A COFFEE FREAK ARE YOU?

Everyone drinks it. Not everyone owns a scale. 12 questions, about 2 minutes, no signup. Your result is your Coffee Rank, one of five. It is not a Freak Type: only the Freak Test gives one of those.

THE FIVE COFFEE RANKS

  • The Civilian: Coffee is a drink to you. Extraordinary.
  • The Fuel Drinker: You do not taste it. You deploy it.
  • The Coffee Person: It became a personality trait and you let it.
  • The Home Barista: There is equipment. There is a scale.
  • The Roast Date Freak: You have opinions about water.

THE 12 QUESTIONS

See every question before you start
  1. How do you take it?
  2. What happens before your first cup?
  3. Someone hands you instant coffee.
  4. Describe your equipment.
  5. Order it for me. Say it out loud.
  6. Do you know where your current beans are from?
  7. You're going away for four days.
  8. Your position on decaf:
  9. You watch someone make coffee badly.
  10. How many a day, honestly?
  11. The mug situation:
  12. Last one. What would actually happen if you stopped?

THE BIG ONE

This test says what you are a freak about. The Freak Test says who you are: 30 questions, a Freak Score, and one of ten Freak Types.

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